Free February 18, 2010

Today was a day of true freedom. Not that I had any crazy movement at work, or I won the lottery. I received something far better. I recieved God’s grace. shining down on me.  Releasing pent up emotions I didn’t even realize I was hiding. Fear’s I didn’t know I had. I was talking to a girl Jennifer at work, and something she said just set the fire.  She said I guess sometimes people expect you to be perfect because your a christian, but  I’m not perfect, I’m just a sinner saved by God’s amazing grace doing the best I can. It really hit home. Am I doing the best I can? When everything is gone, and it’s just me, am I doing all I can? Is Jesus were I turn to to satisfy my every thirst? So I spent the rest of the day quietly praying, and praising God for yet another glimpse of his glory. And the greatest thing is She has no clue what she set off in me. She as just being honest, and unafraid in her faith, and sharing with me exactly how she felt. And God knew that I needed that. He has set a fire in me once again that was slowly growing dim.

sunday morning rain is falling September 20, 2009

My rainy day finally came. I could sit here forever relaxing. Listening to the rain fall. It truly is my place of peace.

what happened to the rainy weekend September 19, 2009

I had all these pro-rainy day inside activities planned. Then it just decided to not rain. What gives.

Oh well. Guess I’ll just clean up and then hang around the house.

that sweet smell of failure… September 15, 2009

It’s 7:45 in the morning. I have to leave for work in 45 minutes. But I have this uncontrollable urge to crawl back in to bed and sleep until 8:20. Then hop up and throw something on and leave.

I’m a morning person I swear it. I’m just lately have been tired. So tired.

Maybe it has something to do with Alan waking me up every night with his urge to stay up until 2-3 in the morning and then crawling into bed and waking me up. Which it then takes me like 45 mins to fall back to sleep sometimes. Because he always wants to talk about something. Ugh. I’m gonna have to put my foot down. If he desires to stay up that late he is going to have to sleep on the couch! lol.

Ok I can’t fight the urge. I’m going back to bed for…. approximately 30-40 more minutes!

something was done September 13, 2009

I got shoes today. And a skirt. And rode around with Alan being silly, and laughing at random things.

It was a beautiful day.

I need a nap to catch up though. My body must be working hard because I am ssoo tired lately.

P.S  My lover/husband/best friend/soul mate/ support system/everything has made me so happy. I realize it more then ever on day’s like this. When it’s just us. I can’t imagine life without him. I’m so lucky to have someone who is so loyal/loving/caring/affectionate/dedicated. I’m so blessed.

something is not right…something is quite wrong. September 13, 2009

Let me acknowledge my love for Madeline. If you notice the title. I love all things Madeline. I’ve already made plans that if I have a little girl to name her Lucy Madeline Wright.

On another note. I’m sick today. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I feel like my lower stomach is being stretched out. And I TIRED, and blah. I was nausea’s all day yesterday too. So I guess I’ll do some laying around today with my honey. Not a bad plan at all if you ask me.

as for me an my ovaries September 12, 2009

In case you didn’t already know from all my random babbling. I’m going to be and Aunt.
And I don’t just mean and A-U-N-T. I’m going to be the most awesome Aunt any one child can handle.
So suck on that for a moment.
As for the other question I have been rec over and over and over in regards to my new found Aunt Hood.
When are you and Alan gonna have a baby.
Jeez people really. Can’t we be a bit more sensitive.
Leave my Ovaries out of this . ha.
Seriously I don’t know when Alan and I will have one. I guess when it’s our time.
Don’t get me wrong we WANT one, and we are actively trying *wink wink*.
But for real stop asking me.
Trust me I can’t keep a secret, I talk way to much. I’m a walking open book.
When I’m expecting YOU WILL KNOW.

At work A girl I work with is expecting. I was talking to someone else about it who will remained un-named. And she’s like oh I bet you hate her don’t you.
I’m like what!
Shut the front door!
Why would I hate her? I’m beyond happy for her and her husband.
I have not known her that long but she is super nice, and I wouldn’t wish her anything but the best. (remember that Rachel before you transfer me irate pts lol).
I guess I can understand in a way why people would think I would be upset. I mean don’t get me wrong. When I hear someone is pregnant I can’t help but think about it for a moment. But I can guarantee that it is almost instantly replaced with Joy and Happiness for those people. Especially when it’s good people, who will make good parents.

So that’s that.

What is Beauty September 12, 2009

Women are expected to be beautiful and have the perfect body. Many women try to obtain that goal but they seem to never reach it because American beauty is always changing and there are numerous opinions about what beauty really is.

For true beauty we need only remember one thing.

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  Proverbs 31:30

Where the Wild things are. September 12, 2009

This was my favorite book growing up. I used to sit and read it over and over. Day after day. I took it for show and tell so may times my teacher suggested to my mom I bring something else because the other kids where “losing interest”. That baffled me. Even for a 1st grader. I mean how can you “lose interest” in something like that. I would spend hours dreaming I was Max. I would lay awake in bed praying that Moishe would come and take me to where the Wild things where.

I’m seriously beyond excited to go see this movie. It should defiantly bring back some great childhood memories.

Growth is more then just a mission September 12, 2009

Growth is more then a mission. It is a lifestyle. I look back to what I have overcome in the pat 5, 10, even 15 years and I see growth. My passion for life is ignited daily. I see things that inspire me to be something more in everyone. I’m moved by the lady pushing her children down the sidewalk. I inspired by the man who stops and give’s the less fortunate a second of his time, and a piece of his hard earned life without question. I’m motivated by the lady I see who lives her life daily by God’s word and is not ashamed of it. These are the people who move me, inspire me, motivate me to be something in this life.

They inspire me to Grow.

Grow you may ask. Don’t we all grow everyday in our knowledge of what is around us, and in our experiences. Yes we all do. But when was the last time you REALLY experienced GROWTH in your life at it’s full potential. The last time you looked back at what you were, and were proud to see what you saw standing in front of the mirror. In order for this to be done, we must stop living and really start LIVING. Open our eye’s to the beauty we see on a daily basis. There isn’t much left in this world it seems lately.

But if you take that extra step, open your eye’s a little wider, look into the cracks, you will see something you never thought possible. You will see life. Real life in motion. And it is a beautiful gift from above. It will move, you, change you, inspire you.

And when we start to feel these emotions. That’s when you can truly say. I have Grown. I have experienced Real growth.